This is really too much… can’t a C.A.T. have a decent space adventure without that franchise hijacking the fun and producing a calendar… yes that franchise…
Hey, wait a mo… maybe I ought to offer my author’s services to that franchise so she can include me in their… ahem… nice worlds…
My author’s been ever so lovely to me… she’s given me an early Christmas present. Isn’t she wonderful, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr….
Just look at this cover…
It’s a print version of my C.A.T.-mas stories, all three of them. Yes, you can find these stories further down this blog, but who wants to sort through all the posts to find them, when you can have this lovely booklet?
C.A.T.-mas-1-2-3 UK Amazon Link Here
C.A.T.-mas-1-2-3 US Amazon Link Here
Hm… I wonder if I can get my author to compose a christmas carol about me? Well, Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer, did just that eighty years ago. Happy 80th Birthday, Rudolf!
Now must get on with some serious extended purring….
Oh boy have I had a long talking to with my author. Do you know what she forgot to tell me? It’s really unbelievable. How could she? And worse, I had to find out from her blog… it’s really inexcusable…
Anywayz…. she’s learned her lesson… well a rob-cat does have his advantages… I’ll leave that to your wonderful imaginations…
Oh you want to know what she to forgot to tell me?
Just that I got another Honourable Mention from the Writers of the Future contest. That makes it eight out nine! [Imagine me doing the Scottish Sword Dance with all four paws! – well if you can imagine that, then you really has wonderful imaginations.]
Here’s the summary graphic to prove it…
Kind of likes the idea the one that missed out had the title: Belonging to Nowhere. It adds to my quirkiness index.
What do you mean you’ve never heard of the quirkiness index? And you’ve been around me? Oh really… what is Earth and the human race coming to?
Don’t answer that… or I might be tempted to sort something out… and those very very few who’ve seen my novel know what I’m capable of… so don’t tempt me… oh, I’ve thought of an improvement in doing my sword dance… must go away and practice…
Oh my pussycat fur… my author’s been sooooo busy these last few days that she forgot to mention a very important item… How could she forget me? Her one and only super rob-cat? I ask you. I don’t know why I stand for it.
What do you mean I don’t stand?
Oh. You mean I like being curled up. What do you think I am? Lazy? Definitely not!
What do you mean? I’m already calm. If I calm down much more, I’ll sink into the Earth’s crust. And then where would we be?
Huh? You want to know what my author forgot to tell me?
Well, an Honourable Certificate arrived in the post for my 8th chapter – Vacuum’s Ripples. And here’s a photo of it….
Isn’t it lovely? Okay, so my idiot author is not good at taking photos. But it’s proof it exists.
And here’s the summary of where we’re at to date…
Yes… over two thirds of my novel has got Honourable Mentions from the Writers of the Future contest. Purr, purr, purr.
Did you know that for the contest year of 2017, I’ve got three Honourable Mentions… ppppuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz…….
Oh lookzzz atzzz all thatzzzz GREENZZZZZZZZ!
Yes, my author has finished my novel, all 125k words!
I know its taken a long time, but, in her words, ‘By heck, what a novel!’ When she started out, we both thought it would be ‘ordinary science fiction as we know it’. Well, it’s gone from ordinary to extraordinary. I don’t know how she did it. All I get from her is she sat there writing and when she finished the session and looked back at the piece it was with the ‘where did that come from?’ sense of disbelief.
All I’m going to say is MeWOW!
Of course there’s the editing and consistency checking (the latter should only involve small details, as it was written to a strategy and some of the former has been done as my novel was written). But that shouldn’t take too long!
I suppose I’d better start looking for a suitable agent that can cope with me… but for the next few days there’s going to be some earthquake style purring going on at my author’s place…
Well, great news, the meat cats of Earth have won an Ig-Noble prize!
What do you mean it’s a silly prize. It’s a very important prize. And it was the Ig-Noble prize for physics too, it being to do with all the fluid dynamics of cats.
No, we’re not talking about a cat’s blood circulation or other watery stuff. It answered the question: “Can a cat be both a solid and a liquid?” A solid has a defined shape and volume, while a liquid has a defined volume, yet lacks a defined shape. The internet is filled with data on cats, which appear quite comfortable conforming to the shape of their container.
Don’t you get it? It’s one of those special properties we have that makes us sooooo…. super-duper likeable…. Well we do like to fit nicely and snug and comfortable into our beds… purr… purr… purr… we can… purr… get up to all sorts of things… purr… like this one in the picture from cutest paw website… purr… purr…
I’ve been through my author’s e-mails… and whoopee… my Chapter 8 Vacuum’s Ripples has got an Honourable Mention in the Writers of the Future contest! That makes seven out of the eight chapters submitted. Aren’t I a clever pussy cat?
What do you mean I’m not?
Oh! You think I should have put robo-cat instead of pussy cat?
You do?
Well, aren’t I a clever cat?
Oh you agree, purr, that’s so nice, purr, of you to say so, purr.
Here’s a summary of the latest graphic….
Now back to my super-duper-purr-in….
The postman’s been. Yay, he’s dropped a letter in the postbox. Super-duper-it’s the certificate for an Honourable Mention in the Writers of the Future contest for Chapter 7 – Unknown Unknowns. Isn’t it soon loveelllyyyy? Purr, purr, purr, ppppuuuurrrrrrr….
And this is where we’re at with my novel…
Oh isn’t this so gorgeous, wonderful, splendiferous, super-duper, superb – hey how many synonyms for being perfect are there in the english language? – well all of them! Purr, purr, purrrfffeeeeecccccttttt!
As you know, 6 out of the first 7 chapters in my novel – you know the one that my author thinks she’s writing, but I’m actually doing the writing – well someone has to make me look good – where was I?
As you know, 6 out of the first 7 chapters in my novel got an Honourable Mention in the Writers of the Future contest. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t know what that means. Well it appears that an Honourable Mention means that:
It’s the old dynamic of the quality of writing or the imagination that makes the grade here. According to my author, the marks on her Creative Writing MA course at Bath Spa University were given for quality of writing or imagination. Anyway, that’s what she was told.
Of course I have a shrewd idea which it was for the individual chapters. Well it is MY novel after all! And yes, there are some very interesting ideas in some of the chapters. No, I’m not going to tell you good people because I don’t want to spoil your enjoyment of reading my novel.
According the the reports, the quality of entries into the contest continues to improve. They get thousands of them for each quarter! That sounds like an awful lot of reading if you ask me.
One final snippet before I go and sort the mess my author has got chapter 9 into (she’s done what she calls a spider stretch of the plot – what the heck is that? mewl – see what I have to put up with?), as of about 2013, about 10% of entrants got Honourable Mentions. I haven’t seen any percentages mentioned higher than 15% over the years.
Now where’s she hidden that chapter 9… ah there it is… what? What? WHAT? She can’t write that… she has… oh no… sorry, but I’ve got to have a very long talk with her!
Oh what a lovely author I have… she’s given me a nice surprise… she’s self-published my, for want of a better word, genesis story – Agents of Repair – on Kindle. Purr purr purr…..
O.K. background – well what better than to repeat the introduction here –
Agents of Repair was written to answer the question: ‘Can a self-learning program develop on a computer without direct human help?’ When I realised how it could be done, I knew it would be dangerous to publish the method. So I deliberately left out a couple of paragraphs in this story.
Nevertheless it made for good yarn, and found a home in a small British magazine, Jupiter. I am grateful to Ian Redman, Jupiter’s editor, for giving it chance to be read in Issue 29, Thyone, July 2010. This gave me a glimmer of hope after a particularly horrendous year on a personal front.
So why self-publish Agents of Repair as a separate story now? The first reason is to act as a record of one step in the path to the genesis of C.A.T., a self-learning robo-cat, of which a series of stories have been e-published by TWB Press. The second is its timelessness. It still feels as fresh and relevant today as when it was first published seven years ago. Enjoy!
And here’s the cover –
Isn’t it lovely… purr purr purrfect.
The links if you want to buy it for your Kindle are
Now I’ve got some serious purring to do…. pppppppuuuuuuurrrrrrrr…..
C.A.T. Blogdom 